Later last year, 2008, I was wishing and itching to get away from where I am currently. Then suddenly, the opportunity was given to me; handed to me when I least expected it. 2 weeks from now, I will be based in Singapore indefinitely. Imagine the excitement when I got the offer. I was feeling that tingling sense of adventure and freedom.

As I started sorting and packing my things, now and then I get mood swings. I easily get irritated and sensitive. I was at times feeling down, like all the excitement just drained out of my system in an instant. Then after a while, I slowly go back to being excited again. It got me thinking…is this my reaction to the thought of being farther away from home and consequently be really lonely? I guess even with all the adventure that I’ll be having and the freedom that I desperately need…amidst all that, there lies a fear of feeling a totally different kind of loneliness lurking in a small corner of my heart.

Loneliness from not having to see the familiar faces in the house and in the office. I’ll be missing those routines that I have developed and the comfort it brings. Somehow I’ll even miss those hard realities that enveloped my life here. It is sometimes hard to swallow that I’ll be living in a different “world” in a couple of weeks. Maybe change has that effect on people.

I am very thankful of the great opportunity that was given to me, its just that the “loneliness” part of it is something that sometimes eats me up. I’ll be missing A LOT of familiar things. I will just keep on reminding myself that I will also be having a new adventure.

I’m tired of making sense of things;
desprately trying to bring order to discord.
so exhausted in fighting a battle…
where the enemy is beyond my understanding.

let me climb the highest mountain
free my mind
shout my heart out
scream my soul to the heavens…

let me break free from it all
fly away to solitude
breathe in deeply
so that my spirit may be touched with serenity

if only I can leave everything behind…
like letting slip the sand from my half open hand
slowly…slowly letting everything escape my grip
and see it fall into place.

Dids and I decided that we try to make homemade California maki, since we love em! Guess what…it was a success! It’s not the best maki we’ve ever tasted and they weren’t exactly shaped perfectly, but the fact that it looked like California maki and it tasted like one is a great fulfillment in our part. Just see for yourselves…DEN DEN DEN DEEEEN…I present to you, our very own California maki (made with much love, dedication, conviction, sweat, laway and libag XD).

We had fun doing those cute little things. Although the ingredients for it are quite expensive, it was a bit of a splurge for us. The important thing though is that we enjoyed the experience and we now have bragging rights in maki making! ^_^ We’ll be doing this again soon, since we still have lots of ingredients left. This time, Byang will be joining the fun! Can’t wait!

Oh by the way this site was a big help in making this endeavor possible…many thanks to VideoJug – Life Explained. On Film. (There’s this 10mins Chicken Curry video in that site, maybe we should also try that one.)

” It’s better to say too much

Than never to say what you need to say”

– Taken from the song Say by John Mayer

“I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.” – Publilius Syrus

Both makes so much sense to me but both are too contradicting and finding something midway to those two ideas is really hard.

We need to take responsibility on the words that comes out of our mouth, maybe that is why Publilius Syrus preferred silence over unweighed words. The dilemma comes when there are things that you need to get out of your system but you’re afraid that it might do harm than good. That explains why I sometimes starts to say something, I would have uttered the first few words at this time, and decide to not go on with what I’m saying. It sometimes pisses people off a bit, I know I would be. It’s hard to always weigh your words; to constantly filter out what should only be said when you are bursting to say the things you want to say.

…

Okay I’m getting way too serious here, it’s making my head ache. For my head’s sake, I’ll stop here…then I’ll go back contemplating about life. Hummmm….. (-_-) [I should start blogging about our adventure in Dumaguete]

Yesterday, Tin (our Business Analysts) arrived from her stint in Ireland. She brought with her two big bars of scrumptious Cadbury chocolates and some other sweets. I was so excited about the Cadbury bars I forgot the other sweets she brought ^_^. On top of that Reyssie (our QA Tester Lead), brought some pasalubongs from her trip to Cagayan de Oro. She brought Pastel, those bread with sweet fillings (are those yema? Whatever they are they taste great!) and some other sweets. Again the highlight was the Pastel. Got a bit of a sugar rush early in the morning because of these things and so my status message for that day was this…”sweets are such bliss [sugar rush]“. Yanyan (my old teammate in Navitaire), read my status message and he somehow got inspired in writing a verse/poem based on it. He really wanted me to post it, so Yan this blog is for you…happy now? 😛

sweets are such bliss
forever to eat them, how i wish
sweets i surely will miss
the tasteful memory of sugar’s kiss